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What just happened to me?

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Hey everyone.

I know I haven't been posting anything for months. Last September, I returned back to my university and I get so busy and preoccupied with my studies that I no longer have time to check my blog. Plus, my life has been a total wreck now.

I supposedly need to continue my semester with another semester of industrial training. The duration is 6 months which started February 2018 until the end of July 2018. Remember me mentioning about having depression etc? So apparently, I started to feel everything has gone wrong, I don't feel at ease, all I feel is fear of the future because the last semester, I can see how terrible my performance in my studies and that was how my internal fear has grown. 

To make matter worse, the company that I work with isn't really an IT company so they have no IT department there at all. My fear of failing in my final year has overwhelmed me and I feel I don't get enough exposure from that company. I broke down.
In the end, I decided to postpone this semester and just take a rest at home. I started seeing psychiatrist and counsellor but so far, zero. Nada. I've seen them only once this month and I hope things will get better. Anyway, I was diagnosed with adjustment disorder. They said it's a mild condition it'll get worse if left untreated. 

I know, it's all messed up.

There was one thing that my counsellor has mentioned during our first session. It's regarding my relationship with my parents. I'm not gonna lie, we were never really that close. I have never talked to them and express to them about my feelings, problems, etc. Hence, the reason why I feel so lonely and miserable. I don't have many friends in real life too which is yeah, saddening. 

All I'm wishing right now is for everything to get better. 

xoxo,

Misna.

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